BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO AARTHI MOHAN

Saturday. Around 10:20 a.m. Sion railway station.

My friend Roh and I got tickets from the counter and were climbing the bridge to go to the platform. She was walking a little ahead of me. As I climbed the last step, I felt someone touch me from behind, where he shouldn't have. Sensing something odd, instinctively, I turned to look who that was. This man, definitely atleast 45 yrs. old, looks at me, gives a sly triumphant smile as a mark of having derived cheap pleasure, makes a lewd gesture and 'happily' strides away with the spring-in-his-step! For a moment, I just stared at him in disgust. But the look in his eyes, when he made that gesture, had already infuriated me. I was mad at him, wildly furious. I didn't stop to think further and yelled and screamed after him " kya be saale, sharam nahi aati kya? ....... " (now I feel i should use some gaalis in everyday language, just so I get used to saying them and they may flow out of my mouth with ease when required! maybe I'll write on 'the importance of gaalis' sometime.) So, I was fuming with rage and yelling at him. He started walking faster. I immediately turned around and found a policeman standing there, looking at me. I called him, pointed towards the wrong-doer from atop the bridge as 'there, the white shirt and black pants wala' and told him to run and catch him. Mr. policeman ran... and I was catching up... By this time, this @$$^*!& had reached the platform and was already on his way out through the gate. But Mr. policeman turned out to be efficient enough and paced faster and caught him outside and came with him, to where I was standing.

Now! I gave him a piercing look and said, "Bohot masti chadhi thi na tabhi?" and he was like " Maine kya kiya? Aap hi bataaiye maine kya kiya?" I was shaking with anger. I know why he asked that question. saale ko abhi bhi shaayad utri nahi thi. I'm sure he thought that I won't be able to say it, because there were so many people around by then. I said, I know what you did, you know what you did and you also know that what you did was wrong. Then he says, "Woh toh chalte-chalte dhakka lag gaya" to which i retorted "Aur gande ishaare bhi apne-aap hi ban gaye na?" He tried everything he could, to escape. Even asked the policeman that how can he be arrested just because I am saying something, to which, the policeman told him that she says so, you have to come along. I turned and told Mr. policeman that I'm ready to file a complaint against him, so why talk to him anyway? As I was heading forward, it suddenly struck me - how will my parents react to it? They may not approve. I didn't know. Behind me, he was still pleading to be let off. I turned. I said, " Theek hai, maafi maango, abhi." His immediate reaction was as if I'd hurt his male ego. I said, either you apologize publicly, for what you did, or I'm filing a complaint. The next moment, he folded his hands and said "Sorry madam". I watched his ego crumble into a thousand pieces. And he apologized twice, thrice, five times over. I motioned to Mr. policeman and he let him go. I thanked Mr. policeman; first, for being there at the right moment and second, for doing what he did.

As I walked upstairs, to the bridge, I saw all the people there staring at me. I was still hot-headed. There was anger in my eyes. Roh was standing there, clueless, waiting for me. I then told her everything. We got into the train. My face was so hot! A thermometer would've burst with the heat due to my anger! It was only after an hour or so, that my anger-level lowered a bit. At the end of the day, I felt drained. Naturally so.

But then, there was also this satisfaction inside me. He would've done that to many other women before and they must not have reacted this way, which is why, he did it to me. I can't say whether he will or will not repeat this with someone else, but atleast, I can be sure that he will think twice. And he'll probably never forget me. Moreover, from the crowd of more than a hundred people there who witnessed the incident, the men saw. And the women saw. I don't know whether having seen this will change their attitude. However, I sincerely hope that it does.

Next, I will talk to my mom about it and get to know as to how she'd react if I file a police complaint against someone. Also, I'd like to read the law a bit and know what comes under sexual harassment, what action can be taken, etc.

For now, I feel like a superstar - confident about my confidence.

age at the time of experience: 20 years
current age: 20 years

Posted 12th October 2008

Blank Noise Action Hero Nalini Kannegal

I have gone through it myself. twice that i recall were actual physical abuse and not just verbal. Once it was a man flashing and coming towards me probably trying to shake off.. This is particularly etched in my memory since it happened on 3 occasions same man same place.. the first time i ran.. the second time the very following day i was scared and saw him round the corner and took a bye lane. The third time i decided to confront him.. I picked a big stone and when he approached me ; while he was about a couple of meters away i abused him and told him if he came any nearer i would throw the stone.. i was scared but aggressive too... and he did not come any closer..

i try and fight my battles... when i was younger it used to scare me more than it does now.. that i think is basically because of the fact that i am physically weaker than a perpetrator can be.. or has been.. but i know for a fact now that physical strength is not the only thing that can scare them off... your aggression can too..
and the fact that you are willing to fight and not take anything lying back in itself is a great weapon.

Posted 3rd November 2008 by J

Labels: stone strategy strength

Response towards Step by Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking

Every weekend we will update this blog post. The blog post will carry a Blank Noise Action Heroes experience when she tried Step By Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking.
To be an Action Hero you must try atleast 1 or all of the steps listed in the poster.
When you agree to try the Unapologetic Walk do share your experiences with us by filling this form. What you fill in the form will be added to this blog post.


what did you feel when you walked without your arms crossed or folded?

Smriti Chanchani: "naked"
Malay : "naked and bare"
Marjorie Barboza: "I don't remember walking with my arms crossed or folded... but if i did, it was probably to feel a bit more secure against people bumping into me".

More coming up. every weekend.
Until then- make sure you try our Step By Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking!

Yours truly

Blank Noise!

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO MAD MOMMA

A few days ago I hit a man.

Not slapped - though I’d have loved one of those filmy one-tight-slaps that shook him to the core - just a hard whack on the back. I was out in the market buying groceries. And suddenly I felt a blow between my shoulder blades that threw me forward and I almost fell on my face.

I turned around to see two men on a bike, carrying cartons. They drove into me and bumped me with the cartons, almost causing me to lose a couple of teeth. It wasn’t an accident. They thought it was funny to harass me this way. They evetease and pass it off as an accident. To begin with, they were in the wrong place. In a pedestrian walk way, not on the main road. They had no right to be there.

‘Hey’ I yelled, ‘hey, look where you’re going. Are you blind? Shouldn’t you apologise?’

They looked at me and grinned at each other and drove on.

‘Hey’ I yelled, ‘hey, look where you’re going. Are you blind? Shouldn’t you apologise?’

They looked at me and grinned at each other and drove on.

I don’t know what came over me but I ran. In my high heels. I caught up with them and thumped the pillion rider on the back, wildly teetering. He looked shocked. The driver revved up and gunned the bike dangerously and tried to make a getaway. But it was a crowded market and I chased and got in another hard whack on his back.

‘Don’t you dare do that again..’ I screamed as they got away.

People in the market stared but no one tried to stop them. I didn’t care. I was fine. I could take care of myself. I was no victim.

In the last few years I think I’ve grown. I’ve never forgiven myself for being a victim albeit just a helpless child. I’ve had my few shots as hero, but they’ve been rare. I’ve begun to make more of an effort. As a young girl I often blamed my parents for not noticing that I’d been molested. As I grew older I blamed them for never taking me to therapy, for helping me deal with the guilt, the misery and the confusion. But I think I’ve reached a stage where I take all blame and credit myself. And I also take responsibility. For myself and my children. I feel the strength and rage within me where I am sure that if anyone touches my precious children, I will gouge their eyes out, castrate them and feed them to vultures - never mind what the law does with me after that. Because if I don’t teach them to take care of themselves and be strong, who will?

I urge you to do the same. Stand up for yourself. Experience has shown me that no one else will. Don’t use the harmless phrase eve-teasing. Tell it like it is - call it sexual harassment. You are being harassed for being the sex you are. You are being harassed sexually.

——-

A few days after this happened, the Soumya Vishwanathan murder happened. I was out again buying groceries when a man talking on his cellphone reversed at top speed into me. I dropped my bags and jumped out of the way, just about escaping an accident. My first though was violent - I wanted to pick up a brick and bash his windscreen in. But sadly Soumya came to mind and I was terrified at the thought of him suddenly pulling out a gun or a hockey stick or just generally getting myself into a situation that I couldn’t get out of. And then it came to me.

I walked up to his car and going around to the passenger side I just shut the external rear view mirror. He looked up at me in shock and annoyance. I smiled sweetly and said in Hindi -’Oh I didn’t think you needed it. If you were using it, you wouldn’t have almost run me down.’ And then I walked away. I was damn kicked at having made my point, not having to shout and also not doing anything violent. I only wish I were always so ready with an answer.

And oh the bonus? He had to stop and adjust his mirror again. Yeah, small victory but it made me happy!

——-

And finally - again - a few days ago the OA and I were out in the market and another car almost ran over me while I stood by the side of the road waiting to cross. The driver was trying to squeeze through and was driving on the cement paving outside the store I was standing at. The OA by my side I didn’t have any fears and I banged on the window of the car. The driver braked. A couple lounged in the backseat, in each other’s arms. They got a shock and sat up straight, straightening their clothes and disentangling. Fear writ large on their face. Was I the moral police, objecting to them making out as their car crawled through a crowded market place?

No, I wasn’t. I was merely very disgruntled aam junta - the common man or woman, whatever you want to call me. Drivers in our country don’t take proper driving tests and supposedly educated employers don’t check if their driver knows the rules and neither do they bother to keep an eye out for them breaking rules or driving rashly.

So I just put a hand on the bonnet and dared him to drive on. The OA was hopping mad because we were against the damn shop and had the good Lord not been watching I’d have been squashed against the wall and perhaps lost a foot or something.

The driver glared at me menacingly and the OA pushed me out of the way to deal with this man who almost ran over his wife and now glared at her. But I was in such a temper I squeezed in under his arm and banged on the window till he lowered it.

And then I began to tell him off in Hindi. The swanky young couple in the back seat looked on dispassionately at me. I looked like an angry hen - oily, sweaty face, dishevelled hair, speaking fluent Hindi and chastising the driver so soundly that he could barely get in a word. But they didn’t apologise or chastise him.

That made me madder. I turned on them and summoning all the big words I knew in English, began to tell them what I thought of rich, spoilt, upstarts who made out in backseats while their untrained, uneducated drivers ran over unsuspecting bystanders.

They sat up straighter and immediately began to apologise. I then turned to the driver and told him that when you’ve just practically run someone over, you should have the decency to lower your gaze and not glare insolently. Apologise to me, I said. Apologise, said the OA. Apologise, said the shaken couple. He did. Suddenly he realised I was probably as well off as his employees/of the same social standing and that he couldn’t shake me off like he could some other poor, illiterate bystander.

I didn’t feel much better. I realise they only made an effort because they were taken aback by the way I spoke to them. Had I spoken in Hindi or seemed to be of a lower class (which they probably thought I was - dressed shabbily as I was!!) that they might have ignored me. If it’s not sexual harassment it’s some other kind of harassment - in this case - I only got an apology because I have an education and could ‘outspeak’ them. Assholes.

And I am very proud of myself. This is the shit we should be fighting. Not another’s wish to practice their religion in a certain way or their choices. These are the things we should be uniting and raising our voices against. Alas - we’re so divided on religion that we have no unity in matters that matter.

Posted 16th November 2008

Blank Noise Action Hero Monika Manchanda

Blank Noise Action Hero Monika Manchanda

I wrote something recently on my blog... would like to share with u
http://monikamanchanda15.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-never-ask-for-it.html

and here is the article
First there was brilliant post by Mad Momma and then Chandni wrote about being harassed and in a excellent post urged us to stand up to stand up for ourselves

These posts got me thinking, now I don't think if u are women harassment is something alien to u... In India and (in think I some ways abroad too) if u are a women it cant be that u have not been harassed in some way or the way... It could be anything from a small passerby comment, serious eve teasing or something even worse... But all of us have had experiences doesn't matter whether one is old, young, even a child... doesn't matter whether one is fair, dusky or dark... doesn't matter whether one is good looking or not... if u of the female sex u have had it... isn't it... If there is any of u who has not had a single street harassment experience I would love to hear from u and rejoice in the fact that there is at least one girl who's spared from it.....

Now as all of u I have had my share of these too.... ranging from the small... "Hey smarty", "kya baat hai...",being asked "will u be my friend" to more vulgar comments like "degi kya" to some going even more further and trying to touch on empty streets and then the most common trying to rub at all the wrong places in a crowded bus.... Most of the comments on these posts seem to say that this is more common up north and specially NCR... I have been born and brought in Delhi... lived there for 25 years of my life which includes all of my teenage and the so called young flirty period but the worst I have experienced is after that when I moved to Bangalore.... Its spread all across and no region is better than the other...

I had written about one such incident here... It had totally shaken... I was depressed for weeks... couldn't eat well... would shudder at any male touch even accidental... avoided that crossing for months even if it meant taking a 1.5kms detour... actually I still try and avoid it though its been almost 3 yrs now may a little more....hubby stood there like rock supporting me and trying to make me understand that he was a pervert, he even said that we should go file an FIR if that would make me better and relived... An FIR in this country and that too when u didn't know who the guy was a didn't have any clue to trace him... useless right....anyways its been time and I have gotten over it... but I suffered and that man got his cheap thrill at my cost... isn't this what happens most of the times...

Then some months back... I was driving back from work at about 6:30 pm in the evening on the ORR.... there was not annoying traffic but at the same time it was not empty roads either... I had noticed one bike trying to overtake me again and again... now normally I find it a very common practice specially in Bangalore... remember I had written what had happened with that honda city guy so I ignored it and kept driving at my own pace... after some time that guy shouted something I thought may be he is trying to tell me something... an open door... a flat tire anything and when I tried to hear what he was saying.... he said "oh maal... kya baat hai baadi jaldi main hai" I shrugged and tried to speed up.... post that he started making all kinds of faces... licking his lips... passing flying kisses and what not... On one of the signals he even tried to touch me putting his hand inside the car through the open window... stupid me I should have closed the window... I know u are all thinking the same... but tell me why? Why cant I have the freedom to drive the way I want, a man is not required to drive always with a rolled up window then WHY AM I?

And at that moment something got into me... it was as if someone has taken over me and I have got this invisible strength from somewhere... probably it was months rather years of suppressed feelings, disgust and anger...Just after the signal I just took my huge Tata Safari and stopped right in front of his car and the most dramatic bollywood style gave him one tight slap... It sounds very funny or may be stupid but I felt so free and liberated at that time... I didn't care what the consequence could have been... actually I didn't think. It was an impulsive action but somehow I am proud of what I did.... Luckily for me it was a signaled where there was nice cop standing he immediately came over and so did some more people and when I told them what had happened they told me that I should go from there and they would take care of him.... I know for sure that the cop got him busy giving him a ticket for not wearing a helmet and wanted me to go from there so that he cant follow me... it was evident in the way he spoke... To think of it now the cop did me a favor... he could have done anything had he found my house and this is the fear we constantly live in... don't we....

We need to stand up for ourselves...get that fear away.... and No and I AM NOT ADVOCATING SLAPPING EVERYONE ON THE ROAD... and probably wouldn't do it the second time myself but I think we should stop taking this shit and stand up and make noise... do something about it but don't silently take it....

Posted 12th December 2008 by Blank Noise

ACTION HERO DIVYA!

I m divya,25...just wanted to write in my experience about street sexual harassment. This happened when I was 12 yrs old, in the 7th standard. I was walking from the bus stop, on my way home when a middleaged man blocked my path and when I tried to get past him....he tried to grab me ...this was aroun 4 pm in the afternoon. I retaliated by screaming and hit him with my project work...it was a sheet of thick cardboard, he was taken aback and about 5-6 ppl came rushing asking why I hit him...I told them to ask him about it. I felt that was the right thing to do...

Posted 5th March 2007

ACTION HERO THERESA VARGHESE

I am 45 years old and have faced sexual harassment at
various stages of my life, mostly while using public
transport. My response to this is to confront the
person, look him in the eye and ask him, in a loud
tone, what his problem is. The fact that everyone
around can hear what I'm saying, usually shames the
man into silence and a desire to put as much distance
as possible between him and me.

But I do not think of this as heroic action because I
firmly believe that we need to speak up whenever we
face any sort of harassment, sexual or otherwise.

My advice to women: Speak up, it empowers you.

Posted 5th March 2007

ACTION HERO RANJANI IYER

This happened during Dasara in Mysore (2005). Me and my friends had gone to bus stand to book tickets to go to hometown. It was the tenth day of Dasara. We dint have much idea about the crowd in Mysore.

It was around 12 in afternoon and the roads were already blocked. There was huge crowd. We had to move through the crowd to go to city bus stand.As we were going I saw this guy who was taking advantage of the crowd and was pushing girls and touching them here and there.
As hepushing htrough the crowd nad neared me I recognised him. Before he could do anything I just turned and slapped him. He didnt know what to do. Asked me in very innocent way 'What did i do?' I screamed at him ' I have been observing you. Just wait and see. Will tell to this any one of the polimen standing out there .' Then i turned and walked. After a couple of minutes just turned back to see him.
He was nowhere see.

Posted 5th March 2007

ACTION HERO SANAA ABDUSSAMAD ACTION HERO SANAA ABDUSSAMAD

Where I come from, Cochin, street sexual harassment is so common that the days where my boobs haven't been grabbed, my ass hasn't been pinched, I feel ugly and unwanted. I wonder if I am not attractive anymore.

I can't just point out a single episode; each and every one is worth mentioning.

Eighth Grade- Every morning on the way to school, I d get grabbed at the junction. I used to ignore 'cause it was too crowded for me to identify the hands that touched me. I used to try protecting myself with my school bag. But it just wouldn't stop these men. So one morning I fought back. I grabbed the hand that grabbed me and punched his face real hard. He didn't hit back 'cause he was in shock; well obviously he was not expecting it. And before he could recover from it, I ran for my life.

Did it make me feel better? Yes

Did things change? No

I stopped taking that route afraid something worse could happen. I walked an extra two kilometers to avoid that hand.

Tenth Grade- By now I was used to Cochin, I was always on alert, I had learnt the local language so verbal abuses were taken care of. And it did feel good to see the look on their faces on hearing the words coming out of my mouth. Words my mother wouldn't be proud of, but I sure was. But I did get tired of looking over my shoulder. It was ridiculous to not be able to walk around freely at twelve in the afternoon. There was this pervert down the road who used to jerk off looking at me twice a day (everyday). I used to ignore it because it was just me and my mother at home, and he knew where we lived. But then I found out that my friend's kid sister refuses to get out of the house 'cause she s scared of 'the man who unzips his pants'. The following day, the guy starts following me and I walked quicker. Next thing you know his masturbating hand is on my shoulder and I don't know what came over me, but I ended up drop kicking him in his face and running for my life.

The running never stopped.

I have always fought these guys. I never took the abuse. But I never stopped running. A karate belt can't stop it. A strong attitude cant stop it. I continue to fight these guys day after day but I still have to look over my shoulder any time I walk on the streets of Cochin.

Bangalore experience- I thought Bangalore was better off, but last month I was on the bus to K R Puram and my friend and I kept getting grabbed. We turn around to see who it was, but it was too crowded to make out. And not knowing kannada, we couldn't say anything. We turned our asses away from whoever it was but then he started yanking our pony tails. I mean it was ridiculous, what sick pleasure do they get from pulling our hair?

Posted 5th March 2007

ACTION HERO JYOTHI IYER

I am a 12th standard student. One day I was coming home from tutions at about 7:30. I realized that there was this boy who was following me.After a few seconds, he asked me, "Wanna come?".Well, you know what he meant by that...
But I decided to ignore him.He repeated the question twice.But when I didn't respond, he said,"Can we be friends?" He repeated this also a few times.I asked him to get lost.But I guess he didn't understand English( all his above dialogues were in Hindi), so he kept smiling at me. I decided to be direct and told him-this time in Hindi- that I was not interested.His response was that i should have no problem in"just friendship".This really bugged me.I mean after making such a vulgar offer, he expected me to be friends with him...
So what i did was, I said "Okay let's be friends.But first let me introduce you to my father..." He looked confused.He didn't know whether I was serious or joking. So he said "Okay, So...Friends?" and held out his hand.I took his hand and held it.i said, "Let me introduce you to my Dad first..."
I held on to his hand. My intention was not to intro duce him to my father,obviously(I don't have a father for that matter), but to scare him out of his wits.And, it worked...He sped off on full speed and I was in no mood to pursue him...
Well, wonder if this incident is good enough... Even if it is not, I still would like to keep in touch with you...

Posted 5th March 2007